


Ten Feet by Ten Feet

by sopeayam



Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Beer, Cigarettes, How Do I Tag, M/M, bts and monsta x have the world under their feer, bts and monsta x have the world under their feet, come on jump into this ship with me, it's barely a relationship, not fact-accurate i think, romantic or not it's up to you but it's vague, slight angst, there's something between yoongi and kihyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 17:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11167017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sopeayam/pseuds/sopeayam
Summary: Kihyun winces. This—thinking about him and Yoongi like this, looking at Yoongi like this, feeling about Yoongi like this—always makes Kihyun’s insides churn. This feels wrong. It somehow feels like cheating. Like betraying his members—hisfamily—because they should be hisentire lifebut here he is with Yoongi, lips sealed tight but definitely sharing something that goes beyond words.





	Ten Feet by Ten Feet

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the future. It's more like headcanon than based on actual facts so give mercy on me. ❤ ❤

Kihyun’s fingers meet in front of his lips, tapping softly as he stares out to the balcony from where he is sitting on the sofa. The adrenaline from performing in front of the massive crowd has worn out since a while ago, a dosage that is no longer enough to last for long. The festivity of the concert has died down, washed away with all the sweat and dirt under the shower. All that is left now is the tight soreness of his muscles and the low hum of the city bustling far down below.

According to the schedule, Kihyun should be sleeping now. If not that, then practicing. Or having a live session because it’s a part of his job. He does none of those, though. Sleeping is overrated. Practicing is for another day. Going live could be done later when smiling isn’t too much of an effort and sweet-talking doesn’t make him feel like vomiting. 

Kihyun doesn’t do any of those. Instead, there he is, in a hotel room that is neither his nor any of his members’, sitting in silence while staring at the back of Yoongi, the idol who is leaning on the railing of the balcony while puffing clouds of smoke up to the chilly night air.

It has been too long, Kihyun hears himself musing in the back of his head. It has been _way_ too long.

It’s not like their paths didn’t cross. They have met each other on a lot of occasions. They have shared a lot of big stages, the one they just performed on is one of those. They have met in a lot of TV programs, local ones and international ones. They congratulate each other for the award upon award that their groups received. Once or twice, they even interact with each other in social media, much to their fans’ delight and distaste.

But that was Monsta X Kihyun. That was BTS’ Suga. That was not Kihyun that likes to crash on Yoongi’s ratty bed, complaining about auditions and practices and life in general, and that was not Yoongi that talks to Kihyun about music and dreams and whatnot at fuck AM, going back and forth and back and forth again in topics until his words are slurred and the sun is shining.

They were different people. Even Kihyun himself realizes that he is a different person when he is with Yoongi. When he is with Yoongi, it’s as if he transforms back to his pre-debut self, feeling so small in the middle of this big, big world, but daring enough to have a dream bigger than the universe. It’s as if he is suddenly materialized to that rundown, ten feet by ten feet room which is Yoongi’s. Kihyun could almost taste the cheap _jjajangmyeon_ in his mouth. He could almost feel Yoongi’s shoulder and arm and thigh against his—the room was so small, they practically didn’t have any space left to think about personal space and whatnot.

Kihyun winces. This—thinking about him and Yoongi like this, looking at Yoongi like this, feeling about Yoongi like this—always makes Kihyun’s insides churn. This feels wrong. It somehow feels like cheating. Like betraying his members—his _family—_ because they should be his _entire life_ but here he is with Yoongi, lips sealed tight but definitely sharing something that goes beyond words.

Kihyun wouldn’t say that what he has with Yoongi is more precious than what he has with his members. It’s _not_. Really, it’s not. But, still, what they have between them is special. It has been there before everything else. It is older than BTS. It is ancient compared to Monsta X. It is something that similar to home. Somewhere that he has been departed from. Something that was there in his beginning.

Kihyun exhales a long breath and pushes himself to a standing position. He knows sooner or later someone has to do something— _anything—_ and Yoongi doesn’t seem like he’s planning to do that. Kihyun crosses the suite with ease, then leans on the railing, settling right beside the man. He looks down and eyes the dancing lights for a moment, vaguely realizing that he has forgotten where on earth they are in actually, then turns around and leans back, looking up at the stars instead of down to the city below.

“Everything’s good?” Yoongi croaks, voice hoarse from exhaustion and the smoke.

Kihyun makes a face of disapproval and takes the cigarette from Yoongi’s fingers, putting it in between his lips and inhaling it. He lets the crackling of the fire fills the silence while he thinks about the question. Yoongi might be just doing a small talk—and Kihyun _hates_ him for it if that’s the case—but there is also a big chance that there’s a whole lot of other questions buried in that one small inquiry. Whatever it is, Kihyun knows his answer wouldn’t change. “’S good,” he hums.

Yoongi nods. Now that he doesn’t have anything to fiddle on, his fingers tap around aimlessly, something akin to a nervous tic. He bends to the side and takes a can of beer that has been sitting there for too long, then opens it. He sips it and winces, tapping Kihyun’s arm with it as an offering gesture.

Kihyun flashes a smile and takes the can, handing the cigar back to Yoongi. They don’t necessarily have to share, for there is a whole minibar in Yoongi’s room, but he guesses it’s just another habit when it’s only the both of them. It’s like the cheap _jjajangmyeon_ from back then. It’s like the cheap beer and even cheaper cigar in that ten feet by ten feet room. Kihyun sips and, even though it’s definitely not the same beer, it tastes just like then too. Disgustingly no longer cold and _not much better than horse piss_ , Yoongi’s words.

Silence is enveloping them again. Kihyun finds that he doesn’t exactly have anything to say to the other. He tries to remember what they used to talk about, but they are no longer relevant. They used to talk about dreams, but those dreams are no longer dreams now. They are either their history or their next steps. They used to talk about having the world under their feet, but they have that already.

Kihyun doesn’t want to do small talks. One exchange of that is already more than enough. He doesn’t want to make it feel like they’re strangers. Like they’re acquaintances. They’re more than that. Even though what bonds them is in the past now, the bond is still there. Kihyun refuses to take a step back. He doesn’t want to roll on _how are you_ and _how’s your day_.

The cigar is running out and so is the beer. Yoongi’s eyes are still fixated to the lights under and Kihyun’s to the stars above. No one is talking. This is suffocating. The clock is ticking by. Something inside Kihyun is falling apart with every tick of it.

Kihyun exhales a long breath and takes it as his defeat. Maybe whatever it is between them has died somewhere along their paths of success. Maybe it’s just Kihyun hoping for something that isn’t there. Maybe he is just being a bother. Maybe everything is just in his head. Maybe all that they are now is _how are you_ and _how’s your day_. Maybe this is it.

Kihyun finishes the awful beer and pushes himself from the railing. He still doesn’t want to do the small talks. If this is it, then _this is it_. Kihyun starts his walk out of Yoongi’s room and Yoongi’s life. The empty can in his hand. The bitter bile in his throat. He doesn’t like this.

The brisk steps of Yoongi stop Kihyun on his track. The smoke is trailing behind the shorter man until he smashes the cigar to the ashtray and leaves it there. “Stay the night,” Yoongi says, still briskly steps in the vast room. He sits in front of a piano Kihyun has heard rumors of, readies his fingers on top of it, then turns to Kihyun. “Sing for me,” he says.

Kihyun smiles. He crosses the room and sits right there, next to Yoongi, shoulders and arms and thighs touching.

And sing, he does.

_  
_

_  
_

_  
_

_(Weeks later, Minhyuk notifies Kihyun that there has been this one SoundCloud user that has been the talk of their fans. There’s a song uploaded by that user and everyone claims that the voice sounds just like Kihyun. Kihyun listens to it the night after when they’re in the plane, moving to the next country they have to be in._

_The song flows through Kihyun’s earbuds and he smiles almost instantly. The composition feels too messy for BTS’ Suga’s caliber and the voice is rough on the edges, nothing like Monsta X’s Kihyun’s perfect voice. A lot of comments shows doubt on the speculation of this being Kihyun’s voice, but Kihyun knows better than all of them._

_This is not Monsta X’s Kihyun, true. The SoundCloud user is not BTS’ Suga._

_It’s just Yoo Kihyun and Min Yoongi, two friends that like to talk until shit AM in the morning with shoulders and arms and thighs touching._

_It’s just Yoo Kihyun and Min Yoongi._

_Kihyun closes his eyes and suddenly he’s in that ten feet by ten feet room, tasting the cheap jjajangmyeon on his tongue and smelling the cheap cigar on his nose.)_

**Author's Note:**

> (hi hello i love this ship please talk to me im lonely ;v;)


End file.
